The Pink and the Black

One day, we were over at Uncle Kevin's and Aunt Elisa's home.
 Brian and his dog Imhotep, and their dog were all out  playing on the side of the house.

I was inside, chatting.

Rushing in through the door...

Brian: Mom, i think there is something wrong with Imho.

Me: I don't hear him crying bud, Im sure he is fine - I continue with my conversation. Brian went back outside with the dogs.

Door flew open again...

Brian: No Mom, there is something wrong with him, come look.

Me: Alright Bri, I will be out in a sec.

Brian: MOM!! you need to come RIGHT NOW!

Me: Oh my goodness son what is it?

Brian: He has a giant stomach worm or something!! SOMETHING is coming out of Imho's peanut! I can see it! THERE IS PINK ... COMING OUT OF THE BLAAAACK!

It was then that we had our talk about the dogs and the bees.
Poor Imho was put in time out for a long time by a very shocked and disgusted Brian.

The Extra Special First World Dilemma!

I have one week day every two weeks that I have off from work. This day is usually very packed with errands and Dr. appointments. This happened on such a day.

Out running errands for an upcoming family reunion, I flew into a 7Eleven to grab a DT. Coke. When I raced back out, I pressed my key to unlock the car. Nothing happend!  This key remote had been getting flaky over the past week or so. I walked around my car at different angles, but it would not unlock my car! I ran back in to search for a battery. No luck. I asked the store clerk if they carried them. She said, in broken English, that they don't carry that kind of battery. I set my things down on the counter frustrated. Opening the key, I moaned..

Me: uggggggh I DO NOT have time for this today!" (I continued to fidget with the battery) I hate to spend money on a locksmith, I have a spare key a ways down the street but its raining, of course!

Store clerk: I'm sorry, do you want to call police to help?

Me: I don't know, maybe I'll have too, or a locksmith! I'm just in a big hurry and have to be somewhere, uggggggh!!

Store clerk: Can't you just put the actual key in the car door and turn it? (With a slight smirk on her lips, she acted this out while she said it)

A sudden warmth crept into my cheeks and ears.

Trying to scrape together any sort of dignity I might have had left, I shook my head, sighed and said,
" I don't know, but its worth a try I guess."

I walked out, got in my car and quietly drove away.

When finally getting home later that day, I told my story to Brian.

Brian: Well Mom, sounds like I'm not the only extra special person in our family after all!

The Evolution of SPECIAL

I will explain the evolution of SPECIAL now, so that going forward when you read it in other posts, you will know what i mean :)

On the way home from school one day, when Brian was in the second grade.

Brian: Mom, why don't people like me?

Me: What? Everyone likes you!!

Brian: Not mainstream kids! (it had never occured to my sweet little boy before, that someone would "not like him")

  Brian was placed into a "cluster class" when he started the second grade. Kindergarten and first grade were hard because of the many phone calls from teachers complaining that Brian wouldn't pay attention, needed to go to the bathroom far more than other children, didnt follow class structure, and his need to lightly bonk all the children on their heads (with his pencil) on the way to his seat. These "cluster class" types were an answer to my prayers. It consisted of 10 kids, 2 teachers, and 2 aids. The kids in his class all had need of special learning accommodations. The kids' "levels" were taken into consideration for class modules with in the class. Brian was good with some of these categories, so he quickly became a kind of mentor to the other kids. His popularity status made him feel very good about himself. (He was subsequently placed with the same kids in a variation of the "cluster class" throughout the rest of his grades in public school).

 This particular day, the cluster class shared PE time with a mainstream class. Brian said they played a game called Dodge Ball. He said that none of the mainstream kids ever got out because they always threw the balls at his “classmates” and him first. He was upset because he hardly got to play, as he was always one of the first ones out. (After this happened a couple of times more, I contacted his teacher. Combined PE didn’t continue after that) ;)

  It was on this day we had a talk about “special”.

 Me: Brian, other kids (that don’t think like you and your classmates do), don’t understand that not everyone’s brains think the same as theirs. You, and the kids in your class, have a different way of understanding things. Your minds are SPECIAL. You and your classmates are every bit as important as all the other kids, but you do things in a different way than they do. NOT the wrong way, just a DIFFERENT, SPECIAL way. Hopefully one day their parents will explain it to them.

 We continued to use the word “special” to explain further experiences he had going forward, so as to lessen the sadness he felt in situations concerning “mainstream kids”. That is until someone by the name of BARNEY, disrupted my use of the word “special”!

 

 Brian would, from time to time, mention that they had watched something called Barney and Friends at school that day. Being new to the world of new PBS shows, I assumed that Mr. Rubble had finally gotten his own cartoon series. One day Brian asked if he could watch Barney and Friends. I put it on and realized that it wasn’t my Barney, but a big purple dinosaur dancing and singing to the kids. It seemed harmless at first, so I bought him the video. We watched it together. Barney was dancing and singing to the kids telling them that they were special, special. EVERYONE is “SPECIAL”. Brian turned to me and gave me a look of confusion and asked, Mom, why is Barney telling everyone that they are special, not just kids like me? There it was. I quickly started talking. I had to save this. I told him that yes, everyone is special but the kind of special I talk about is really “Extra Special”. From that point on, we use the word Extra Special when referring to people with special needs. Saved! Nice try Barney!

 (We now watch Sponge Bob, he is a little more in line with my theories)

"She needs to sort out her priorities!"

Driving in the car. 

Brian: Mom, what if our car rolled while we were both inside and I wasn't wearing my seat belt?

Me: Don't even talk about it!! That thought makes me sick!

Brian: Why...?

Me: (teasingly) because it would mash up and scratch up my car!

Brian: NICE!! I thought you meant because I would get hurt!

Me: Ohhh, that too buddy. 

Brian: TOO LATE!    I know the truth now, just drive!!

The Ol' Switch - A - Roo

Brian: Mom, can private investigators find out about when people were born?

Me: I guess so buddy.

Brian: Can we hire one to see if I was really born on the 25th? 

Me: Brian, I was there. You were.

Brian: Aaaagh! I HATE MY LIFE! IT IS SOOO BORING!!!

The Field Trip

Brian:  Mom, can we go to the prison sometime and see Charles Manson?

Me:  No, you can't just go in prisons and see people

Brian:  Why...does it cost money?

Me:  Brian, its not the ZOO!

Brian:  Hmm.  I just want to see him for a minute, so I can tell him he is a JERK and I hope he goes to HELL! The guards would probably agree with me and let me in.

Me:  nope...

Brian:  You know what, just FORGET IT! You always say "NO" to my ideas!! ugggh!

The Hunchback

I will start off with a classic. It is also is the story behind my blog title.
 My Brian often asks random questions while we are in the car. I don't see them coming and they are usually not relative to anything we have been discussing or happening around us. Not knowing the "why" of the question often causes me confusion in what he is looking for by way of an answer. My standard response: "I don't know hunny, we can google it when we get home."

On the way to his monthly therapist appointment (when he was about 13-15 years oldish), I was driving and listening to talk radio.He was sitting in the back seat on the passenger side.

Brian: Mom, how long do hunchbacks usually live?

Me:........ummmm... I don't know! We can google it when we get home..

Brian: I'm just wondering if they live as long as regular humans

Me: good question. When we get home we can look it up online and see what we find.

Brian: I just hope you aren't going to die soon.

Me: ?????? Why would I?....what are you talking about?

Brian: that hump on your back.

(I have a slight Doweger’s Hump genetically handed down by my mother's side- )http://chiropractorwellington.com/whats-that-hump-behind-my-neck-can-it-go-away/

Me: BRIAN! I AM NOT A HUNCHBACK! Lots of people have that.

Brian: ohhhh ho ho k mom ;)

Me: No, really!! Its just how I am made.

Brian: and that is also how hunchbacks are made. Its ok mom, you probably wont die very soon.

Me: I ammmm not a Huuunchbaaaaack!

Brian: shhhhh its ok...